Pre-Inauguration Christian Service

GATHERING

Yes gentle Christian souls, all that gather here today in the House of the Lord, we must hate Mr. Trump with everything we have, with every fiber of our being, with our entire heart and soul!  We must hate him into the dust, into oblivion!  He only has a few days left in office, so we must intensify our hate before his departure.  He must leave his office filled with our hatred (to last evermore!).  We must focus our hate (much like we do when we focus our prayers to Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior), on the White House.  He must feel our hate until his much anticipated departure (and as God only knows, so so needed so we will remain God’s chosen nation!). 

All power to prayer! 

Now, I’d like to introduce you to our writer/author for today, Mr. C J Hopkins, let the words of Mr. Hopkins be an inspiration to us all!  Thanking YOU brother Hopkins, please bless us with your wisdom, and your special special insight into how to best hate Mr. Trump on this, and every other day for the remaining days of our, and his, life. 

SERVICE OF THE WORD

Mr. Hopkins (from, Are you Ready for Total Ideological War):

‘Anyone who trespassed in the Capitol Building (which is like a cathedral), or just came to the protest wearing a MAGA hat, should be hunted down by federal authorities, charged as a “domestic white-supremacist terrorist,” frog-marched out onto Black Lives Matter Plaza, and shot, in the face, live, on TV, so that everyone can watch and howl at their screens like the Two Minutes Hate in 1984. That would teach these “insurrectionists” a lesson!

Or they could shoot them in one of those corporate-branded stadiums! We could make it a weekly televised event. It’s not like there is any shortage of Trump-supporting “domestic terrorists.” They could use a different stadium every week, deck the place out with big “New Normal” banners, play music, make speeches, the whole nine yards. Everyone would have to wear masks, of course, and strictly adhere to social distancing. Folks could bring the kids, make a day of it.’

Thank you Brother Hopkins!  Praise be!  Under YOUR eyes Joseph Biden.

In the name of Jesus,

Amen.

GENERAL MESSAGE TO THE FAITHFUL

Welcome members and guests.  We should beam our hate intensely, as Brother Hopkins suggests, but I recommend that we stop the beaming of our hate around 9 am on this coming Wednesday.  Why, you may ask? Well, after all, we don’t want a lot of “hate vibes” floating around in the Oval Office when the Biden regime begins its 4 years of autocratic (but just in Jesus!) rule.  We don’t want to hinder the agenda of “The Chosen One” (Mr. Biden) with random hate vibes still lingering around the Oval Office after his coronation (for the sake of the Lord Jesus!!).   We need to allow time for those hate vibes to dissipate before the Chosen One takes his hallowed Presidential Chair of Honor in the Oval Office (yes, very similar to the “Sacred Heavenly Thrown of Lord Jesus” isn’t it?  Praise be!).  

Please tell your friends and family to suspend their hate by 9 am, 1/20/2021.  (Thank you!)  Let us pray.

RESPONSE

Hymn  – (all rise, join hands, and let us lift our hearts and spirits in song!)

Oh Lord Jesus, we join our hearts in hate,

We know Trump is guilty, of all things Russiagate.

Oh Lord Jesus, we should shoot him in the face,

Then hunt him down and string him up

Along with his disgusting base.

Oh Lord Jesus, in our hearts you do stir,

We’ll infect his supporters

 With a terrible disease with absolutely no known cure.

We’ll beat him and beat him and hit him with a brick,

Then when down we’ll finish him

 With a hard fast jackboot kick.

Oh Lord Jesus, we join our hearts in hate,

We know Trump is guilty, of all things Russiagate.

Amen.  (Congregation is seated)

SERVICE OF THE TABLE

DISMISSAL


Two Minutes of Hate
(YouTube Video)